#I felt fine
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#tw death#i don’t really know how to warn this one tbh#read at your own risk#i spent two hours convinced i was going to die tonight with absolutely no evidence or reason#i felt fine#i was fine#but i was absolutely convinced i was going to die before morning#i couldn’t go to sleep because for some reason i was against dying in my sleep#i just spent two hours staring at the ceiling thinking ‘i hope it happens soon i’m getting tired’#what the fuck#and then when i finally realized hey maybe this isn’t right it still took five minutes to fully convince myself i was okay#and i promptly had a panic attack about all of it#logically i know i’m fine and i’m not dying tonight but i’m still lowkey terrified of going to sleep
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website
#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff#but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me#its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university#but some ppl dont even get that chance#maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick#but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw#📼
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Number 1 way to get etho to make never before heard noises is to present him with the prospect of reading a book
#nics art#not suuuper happy with that comic I'll probably clean it up later#but its fine i dont have to be proud of literally any of this i havent drawn properly in a week#this felt so good. i finally got time to sit down and draw for hours. god i love drawing did you guys know i love drawing its great#ethoslab#ethoslab fanart#tangotek#tangotek fanart#skizzleman#skizzleman fanart#slabtek#not tagging hermitshipping bc literally all these lines were taken directly from them#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart
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Dead beat down
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen ning#wen qing#Wen Ning is my beloved boy so hearing him get revived as a murder zombie was devastating.#The fact he will keep having his kind and gentle nature overridden by death and violence makes me want to eat sawdust.#I must say though...as a necromancer lover - boy did this episode deliver.#The sound design was so good. Screams and gore and panic abound!#I personally felt a little mixed on how terrified the guards were of WWX at the start but uh...yeah his reputation was not rumours.#If anything they kind of downplayed how brutal he could be.#Real WWX lovers know he puppets round corpses and kills people in cruel and unusual ways.#He's just got some stuff to work through! This is his enrichment! He's in too small of an enclosure!#Self care can be a bloodbath and reviving the guy who has a crush on you that you'll never recognize! It's fine!
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It's essential to teach them color theory when they're young so they understand how to mix colors. How else will you get art that's good enough for the fridge?
Day 6 of DCA Promptober - hues plus bonus animation of Sun imitating the Mac's wait cursor aka the Spinning Beach Ball of Doom
#loaf art#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#dcatober24#sometimes sacrifices have to be made in the name of ART - this is what I'm telling myself in regards to Sun painting the rays#Finally got this done! And it's only... 51 days late. It's fine it's fine#Thanks to everybody in the dfpu chat who helped me come up with stuff to doodle for the border. It was a big help and a lot of fun!#we really did recreate what is going on in the drawing!#also thanks to snails muffin and terror for the animation pointers & terminology#Smear frames were def the way to go! Not whatever I was trying to do before asking for help#I guess this counts as my first *real* animation so hooray!#I *might* use some of the remaining prompts for future drawings but at this point I have other things I want to work on#even though I was only able to finish a few of these I felt like I still learned a lot#it definitely got me into the habit of drawing every day#and I'm still doing that so this event was a big win in my book!#and no joke I really did color pick from the load cursor just so I could do the silly spinning thing
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GUESS WHO’S GOING TO BE A TATTOO APPRENTICE
#ramble#AAAAAA#i am doing a little dance#tbh i haven't felt great about my art recently so the artist saying 'you know what you're doing. you'll be fine' was so healing akdhshd
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#ok fine I'll be an art blog again hfjdbdjdjd#oof shit went DOWN in my life but hey#still here#starfire#koriand'r#this is not me coming back to the dc fandom i just felt like drawing kory 🔪#my art
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hewwo
#stargate sg1#stargate atlantis#neko atsume#almost cried drawing that cute little fucking tac vest on jack btw. look at him.#not in love with all of the atlantis team especially rodney and weir and tela i fuckim struggled with them#like i'm happy with how they look it's fine but short of sticking a maple leaf on rodney or something you know#it's the props#i couldn't figure out how to make who they were obvious. idk man they're cute and i know who they are I guess. felt the same with sam tbh#giving her a little math sheet felt a lil cheap but you know what it's done i'm not gonna keep workin on these the gateroom killed me dead.#also i woulda done the other sg1 members that show up later but I haven't gotten there yet in my watch-thru.#like i saw them as a kid when it was airing on tv but not yet while actually paying attention to things like the plot#my posts#my art#stargate#the sg1 one was done first so that's why i didn't end up putting a lot of detail into the planet they landed on vs how much detail#i had to keep leaving out of the fucking got dam gateroom why is there so much detail in that room hey guys what the hell is up with that r
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Well I think he's cute
#mh hoody#brian thomas#marble hornets#slenderverse#i drew this at like hour 22 of being awake and yeah dog thats how i felt#took a nap though so its fine
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i need daniel to be overcompensating for his insecurities so bad. 100 times more cocky and rude and aggressive and insensitive than he was as a human, falling back into old dangerous habits and vices, not just because now he has new energy and power and wealth to flaunt but because it's ALL he has, and he needs to cling onto it. play it up and revel in it so no one sees that underneath, he feels like a botched fledgling in the body of a sick, faded old man who maybe has no real idea why he was even made. that armand might think he failed in making him. that his maker didn't even really want him.
#i think vampirism isnt inherently torturous to him in any sort of moral way#but more in an inner self worth/image way#louis felt he was failing because he rejected/didn't enjoy human blood and death#i can see daniel being fine with killing but being insecure about the way he turned out/the way he is now#and his complicated connection with armand and what it all means for him. why he cares what he thinks or feels when he doesnt want to#but he does. and he has all these questions he needs him to answer#this sort of thing would be a way to connect him to louis further and also lestat now#louis who felt like a “botched vampire” for a long time and lestat who was immediately abandoned by his maker#and how lestat coped with what had been done to him by trying to fully embrace what he'd been turned into#anyway the bottom line is i think he should suffer and struggle with vampirism just as much as everyone else has in his own way#but he still has to be a massive insufferable asshole about it. and maybe get smacked around a bit because of it#iwtv#daniel molloy
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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dont get me wrong cuz I DO appreciate Larian continuing to work on the game and trying to fix issues etc but like. mr Larian PLEASE stop responding to fan feedback. Theres like 2 million people playing this game ofc some of them will say character x should be nicer or cuter or do a little dance but that doesnt mean u gotta do it. you dont gotta call neil newbon or whoever up like come to the studio we need to rerecord everything bc a person on reddit said theyd like it better. You’ve worked on these characters for over 4 years and you are allowed to stand by your creation. None of what I said applies to Wyll’s underdevelopment btw but you all know that
#that post abt halsins#traumatic experience really portrayed this well for me#i wanted to say its fine to add things just dont replace them but#if im being honest even the epilogue felt too fanservicey for me#oh they all had a good ending and lived happily ever after#and had babies w each other and named them gortash cazador potter or whatever#like leave ittt just leaveee ittttt#bg3
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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.
His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.
His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.
Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.
Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.
Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.
But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.
But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.
He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.
And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.
And the truth is worse than all of the lies.
How horrifying.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danny fenton is a clone#clone danny fenton#clone danny#thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself#thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son#the MEDICAL RECORDS#danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to#danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out#forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror#in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing#for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were#adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that#i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how#everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her#and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE#just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good
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The stain of red that colors the pavement Painted with blood of somebody you love (x)
Inspired by Banana Fish's 2nd ending (that's where the lyrics is from too. Lyrics made me think of smallidarity and the wheat field made me think of bread bridge. sigh)
Im done with banana fish now. totally
#Was gonna give Jimmy his glasses but I felt it messed with the colors and composition too much but its finee he's still bad boy#although looking at it now I think it would look way better if I'd put Joel more to the left. girl the composition..... oh well#tubby art#smallidarity#trafficshipping#trafficblr
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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